This is Hans Van Harken speaking for the late ZekeySpacey Lizard.

Attention: don't come to this profile, it's a 'dead account'. Instead, go here.

Thank you.

p.s. don't pm me...

Someone in the last one of these reminded me that I had not posted any Bill Plympton animation. He has a contract I believe with Atom (formerly known as AtomFilms). Hence alot of his work is there and obviously I cant embed stuff from there here without breaking the code and causing a great cluster of fucks.

So.

Your Face was the first Plymptoon I ever saw. I still love it to this day because despite being an amazing artistic feat, and hilarious, it also has an oddly catchy melody which I will never get out of my head.
God I used to watch this and his others over and over and over back in college.

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How to Kiss
Plympton has made quite a few shorts and a small handful of features. He has a rather sick sense of humor, which I like.

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This next film is by Patrick Smith
He, too, is a master at morphing things crazily via animation. Chances are you've seen this once.

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For those of you who grew up in the late 80's and early 90's (aka 1% of the ng audience) there is a good chance you watched some of Disney's television animation. I'm talking about Goof Troop, Tail Spin, Ducktales, Chip n Dale, Bonkers, etc.

I look back on these shows and am actually rather amazed at how well animated they often were.

However my favorite was the Timon & Pumbaa cartoon show. Very loosely based on the movie. Every morning I would get up JUST to watch this show before I went to school. I ADORED IT.

These are my two favorite episodes. They are both musical and quite short:

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This little bit premiered with the movie THE BIG GREEN when it came to VHS. They rarely RARELY showed it on tv.

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and hey speaking of Disney
Here
watch Mickey's mouse's face contort in a bunch of rather horrifying facial expressions as he sings a song that makes little sense. Seriously pause it at any point to see Mickey have a stroke.

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there you go

Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass

today's cartoons are a trip down memory lane for alot of people. at the same time however, alot of people on this site sadly were way too young or not even born yet when these were in play. which makes me sad and feel old all at the same time.

Liquid Television. Oddities.

MTV's strange and bizarre slot of bizarre animation from around the globe coupled with music videos. yes, back when MTV played music and not reality shows 24 hours per day. good times.

either way, alot of famous cartoons and cartoonists had films in the Liquid Television block and while i'd love to go at length about who and what and when, I am far too lazy.

So instead I will post my favorites.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

I am posting the Maxx. Chances are unless you enjoyed the seedy underbelly of comics in the 90's you've never of the Maxx. The Maxx was a strange series published by Image (who are still gods when it comes to alternative comics these days) about a whole variety of fucked up shit. I honestly cant describe them. But anyone who's read them would remember them. They scar themselves into your mind. I still feel queezy when I think about the origins of the villain, Mr.Gone. Christ, what a nightmarishly brilliant and horrifying issue.

blah blah blah I'm rambling.
Anyway.

I'm going to post a couple episodes.
The whole miniseries is out online. If you are a fan of these, I HIGHLY recommend going out and watching the rest.

And I highly HIGHLY recommend reading the comics as well. For anyone with an appreciation for comics/manga/ranchdressing the Maxx is one of those must-read sort of things. I could go on and on about comics here as much as I do cartoons but blah blah blah fuck blah

RAMBLING AGAIN I AM A HUGE FAG HERE THEY ARE

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theres alot more episodes of these. like 16 or so I think. obviously I wont be posting them all here.

okay next order of business, some Liquid Television stuff.

john r dilworth (courage the cowardly dog) made this next one
it'll be quite obvious once you see the characters teeth. that man makes some gruesome teeth.
ABUSE HIM

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this next one is so loud and over the top
like a bad dream except featuring a cute pig
the nurse's laugh haunts me forevermore

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this next one makes me sad
not because its a bad cartoon, its fucking incredible
its cause animation this good will never be on tv again. ever.

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this next cartoon is NOT from liquid television. its much more recent, and made in flash. and really

really

really

gross.
my friend manwith10toes sent it to me and I have made sure to show it to as many people I know.

for extra punch make sure you are eating a popsicle or chocolate bar while you watch this
you can thank me later

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this uh particular Great Cartoons post is filled with some rather creepy stuff this time so I will end it on something nice.

I like this animator. I've posted a couple of his cartoons in the past, but I dont think I've ever posted this one. catchy song too

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And thats it for this post. I suggest everyone watch Hans van Harken's new kartuun.

thats all folks

The art portal is open. For those unaware it is right here. Sadly its been open less than a day and already its become DeviantArt 2.0
The scouting system has failed and the portal is now getting filled with chibi fursonas, sexualized digimon pictures, fetish art, and mspaint mario sprite comics (oh and traces of famous paintings and photographs). All the scum of the earth that habituated the dark recesses of deviantart/sheezyart/yahoogroups has descended upon newgrounds to unleash their unceasing faggotry.

But we all knew this would happen. Its newgrounds. Las Vegas for outcasts from other websites.

I just hoped it'd take longer than a day for it to happen. No such luck. I already dumped a bunch of my own shit here. Its all old crap you've probably seen before and dont want to see again.
If you want to see real art go look at Laser Karl or sucho or morichax and pretty much everyone who submitted art yesterday.
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Now onto the animation

first things first is this neat hand-crafted music video for the fleet foxes

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and this thing
which reminds me of chemistry class

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a fake trailer for an animated spy movie. (its actually an advertisement for a book)

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I'm not quite sure what this is. its very short yet very cool

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what the?

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Jojo in the Stars
I think I posted this once before. cant recall. cant care enough to check

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whoa what

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no more

okay thats a lie
one more

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NOW NO MORE
NONE

(also lenkobiscuit made me a nice new header)

Dont call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a monsoon
Listen to the bass go boom

today's pile of cartoons is mostly stuff from vimeo i think which is fine

most of today's cartoons are cgi that use very VERY stylized visuals. I am glad to see less CGI trying its darndest to look as 'realistic' as possible.

not long ago I posted SIGG JONES

here is a cartoon by the same guy. the visuals in this amaze me. it looks like it was animated on 3's and has a visual style i really cant describe
galactic mail

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Burning Safari
chances are you've probably seen this but I'm a post is again.

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Zoudov
i love the art-deco look to this film. it also has rockets.

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The Red Rabbit
I think the giant animals are an allegory for this guy's fear of getting too close to his neighbor
I may be wrong

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this is a little music video called sidedish
somethin about it reminds me of virtual pets from the mid 90's

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i cant even describe this one

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or this one

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this next cartoon has a ridiculous amount of detail in the visuals
like you seriously are going to want to full screen this one to have any hope of catching everything
its that crazy

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this next little film will make you go "d'awwww"

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this next film is a pretty 2d film by tapan gandhi. Its about a girl who grows a fetish for flushing live animals down toilets

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and to finish this post I think, this short short toon

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oh i almost forgot
flogging molly music video that gerkinman showed me

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and to end this post, something that is not a cartoon at all, but helps illustrate why religion needs to be kept off television
theres actually an even creepier video of this guy where he sings a duet with himself but if i post it here you'll die from hemorrhaging.

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goodnight

me and gerkinman's pet project has gone live:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
498508

just in case you didnt know

a wiggady wiggady w00p

oh hey guys whats up
as my userpage has become a magnet for terrible terrible kids trying SO hard to be trolls, and really uppity fuckwads, I decided I'm going to do something that is sure to win me more fans and fame and fortune.

I am going to stop posting cool things I find and instead will make my userpage a selfish haven where I can talk about myself all day and gloat and advertise whatever new bullcrap product I produce. And post nonsense that serves no purpose except to make my journal entries longer!

Then I am going to go to animation schools and conventions and hold seminars so others can draw as poorly as I do whilst they shower me with praise and love.

Now I can be just as useless as all the other overrated artists like myself who hang here!

Finally....I'll fit in with the most silent crowd of all. ;_;

i tried so haaaaard
and got so faaaaaarrrrr
in the eeeeeeeeennnnnnd
it doesn't even maaaaaattteeeeerrrrrr

i have something you should probably see

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i dunno about you guys that gave me TEH LULZ. (look how trendy i am using the word lulz haha) (teh)

in other news

since the seemingly permanent death of campnorth i've had to find a new place to upload my amateur-hour fine art.

MY AMAZING ART SITE FULL OF ART SO GOOD YOU'LL GROW A COLON ON YOUR FOREHEAD AND SHIT OUT YOUR BRAIN.

for those with no taste, i have decided to beg for money here instead of having a job. i will do commissions, yes I will.

a pencil drawing is 8000 dollars
a painting is 45,000 dollars
that may seem pricey but for art as good as mine, you KNOW its good!

make sure to email me at zekeyart@hotmail.angelfire.tripod.net

Also in a great disservice to both Tom Q Fulp and Wade X Fulp I have decided to remove all of my cartoons (including the 2.5 good ones) off the site. They will now be going on the super special....

....ZEKEYSPACEYLIZARD DVD!!!!! HELL YES!!!!

the DVD only costs 62 dollars per disc and is 19 discs long.
Have you ever sat down on your parents chair and thought to yourself "Darn dangley doodle, I ever so wish that I could watch free internet cartoons on my television after paying for them!"

Well, your wish is my command my friend.

Included on the disc are:

Squaresville Unfolded - The same Squaresville you know and love but NOW with no sound or music because of copyright violations. We were thinking of putting Greensleeves as the music but fuck that shit. I hope you enjoy watching the same 7 minute long cartoon you didn't enjoy back in 2005 NOW IN HD WHICH MEANS ITS SHARPER AND CAN BE PLAYED ON TV SETS FAR LARGER THAN YOURS

MASS: a retrospective - in this documentary my busty assistant travels the globe interviewing kids on the internet to ask them their shocking theories as to what this cartoon's deep sanctifying message is. Afterwards my assistant might do a striptease. Or maybe not. HOW WILL YOU KNOW UNLESS YOU BUY THE DVD? Yeah your dick is swollen just thinkin about it. FYI she looks like this.

Your Horoscope for Today - witness the incredible tweens that made this cartoon a real blockbuster back in the day. Then wonder why I was not sued for making this cartoon like I was for this.

Clown Show: Dissection of the Bah Bah Bah Bee Bah Bee - this terrifying film inspired by Clown Show features a rape scene that is so gory and brutal it was banned from 93 countries. Because of this, I fully expect this scene to be all over youtube in 10 minutes within the DVD's release. If it is not I will be very disappointed in all of you and write you letters stating this.

Nathan's Genius - this film shot by myself is a detailed and personal venture that shows the sort of sick and deranged conditions a brilliant mind like my own must be in, in order to produce such stunning work as the "Foamy Horseshit Hentai Collab" It details my humble beginnings as a well-hung stable boy to my violent escape from the womb into manhood. My crusades against the nation of Peru, and live footage of the day I conquered the land and crowned myself KING OF INTERNET.

ZekeySpaceyLizard The Movie - the culmination of my 50 year's of animating at Walt Disney Studios, Termite Terrace, and Gainax. This film explores the troubled background of a monk determined to hide his dark past, as the Abbey he lives in comes under fire from the Turkish military and their hula-hooping harpies. You will laugh. You will cry. You will shell out 40 more dollars for the special edition which will come out months later in DIGITAL 3D.

Oh

Oh please.

Please buy this DVD after I remove everything I have ever made off the internet. I am an artist guys. I should not have to work to earn money. I should be able to just put chemicals on paper and have money come to me. Its not fair. I am such a unique individual I should not have to work! Oh, woe is me.

Support me by buying my super special expensive DVD loaded with bonus features which none of you will watch!

ALSO

be sure to check by MY ZAZZLE PRODUCTS PAGE which is chock full of shirts sure to make you butthurty and lulzy and coolfacey. Make sure to buy them for your relatives as well. How proud are you gonna feel with one of my fugly designs on your chest? Proud enough to slug a biker gang in their cocks? Proud enough to wrestle a horny grizzly bear? Proud enough to...to...

....make a comment on this blog....?

well I'm afraid no-one is that proud. With my officialized status of overrated Newgrounds author and useless individual I am afraid that I have turned off all the comments.
You see, the position I'm in comes with a very strict COWARD CLAUSE which I simply have to honor or else the whole bid goes in the can.

I'm sure you understand.

BTW, make sure to purchase as much stock in Polypeptide as you can. I need that money so I can buy General Motors and have them build me an airship that I can whack off all over.

Speaking of, here is a new screenshot of Polypeptide. Make sure to mention in the comments you cant post in how much you are looking forward to it. The more you hype it up for yourself, the more disappointed you can be when you finally see the final film and realize you've been waiting for a new piece of shit by yours truly.

In the screenshot below you can see Hank Wildebeest currently enjoying a violent orgasmic headache as he has just learned that his Ex-Wife just married his son. In the next scene he clenches his teeth so hard his jaw breaks, his lungs fill with blood, and he suffocates in a pool of his own fluids in his mad dash to local Hospital.

But here's the twist: the hospital is actually HIS MIND. THATS SOME DEEP SHIT. YOU WISH YOU WERE THAT DEEP.

(in all seriousness you should all go see UP. Its a really good movie).
(also stop playing sniper and spy you assholes you're ruining the game.)

E3 just happened, for those who live in caves. And it was far superior to the boring and bizarre trio of clusterfuckery that was last year's show (which shattered the hearts of many gamers).

For me though the highlight was this incredible trailer for a game series I dont play and never will.
they even managed to sneak a Blue Meanie into it at around 2:40 seconds. This was made by the same animators who do the Gorillaz.

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someone reminded me of this the other day
its a film ng user kol-belov made which he couldnt put here. mainly i think because at the time, the limit on filesizes here was much much smaller. i recall the swf on his site being massive like 16mb or more.
anyway.

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Long ago (long in this case being 2002 or 2005) there was a piece of software called MOHO. It was a rival to flash mx with different toolsets and such and allowed you to give 'skeletons' to 2d characters, kind of like how CS4 tried to do but failed miserably because Adobe is a terrible company who fucking hate their customers and never fix anything.
Then, MOHO was bought out and its name was changed to Anime Studio. Before this happened, the site for the software had some really neat music videos, cartoons, commercials, and such made by the software. Most of which were european.
When it became ANIME STUDIO PRO all these examples were wiped off the face of the internet.

Luckily some are still on youtube.
the first one is a neat music video called Gumanoid

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another thing made in moho called Lovely Girl

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and finally strahodon shaggy. i have no clue what the hell this creature is or why such disturbing children are obsessed with it.

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as I said last week I have a Vimeo account now and while I did get to post SOME stuff, there was alot I didnt get to post. So here it is.

This is the film POY by Sherbalex who is fuckawesome artist and animator. This film is unfinished as you will soon see, however the parts that are done are stunning.

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it aint christmas but i dont give a chicken pot pie imma post dis anyway

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this is great. also I'm not sure but I think it was made in flash.

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Uno. A very nice student film.

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Low Oxygen. Each frame of animation for the characters is a painting. what alot of work.

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knowledge of the cone. i dont know whats happening in this but it has a stampede of gnome creatures

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and thats all for this week.
back about your business.

when the whippoorwill
whippoors in the wind
the wind can whippoor back
OH NICE AND CHUBBY BABY

hey its time for another one of these things which will be pushed off the page by power of 3 stuff anyway but i'm doin it anyhow ow now brown cow

first one is a cute music video done to a song i've always liked which was linked to me by Jonathan Chilly Fellow

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i havent dont a fp post of these in rather a while
which means i have ALOT OF SHIT TO POST
however im going to have to divvy it up slowly bit by bit
cause if i post too many at once they dont play (thanks youtube)

heres some more

this weeks post has rather an odd amount of asian animation

here for example is a chimp commercial thing

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OH HEY LESBIANS

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this next thing....i dont know what it is. its short and kinda badass. cant tell if its a student animation or just a short film or a pilot for a series or what
that and i cant read japanese which is also a bit troubling.
it has cool robots blowing things up (click the HQ button)

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recently i made myself a vimeo account because there is alot of great and very weird stuff there that I wanted to keep track of.
and since the embed feature is apparently fixed now i can POST THEM YAY (i hope)

like this commercial for Scrabble which i CANT STOP WATCHING

YOGA

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this incredible cartoon made by a guy who actually has an account here
i love this so much. amazingly chunky yet smooth animation all at once

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Song Wars

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another commercial for scrabble
with a completely different song and art style

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when i saw this
i knew i had to post it
it combines many things i love: kittens, black and white imagery, loud horrible sounds, Lacrimosa by Mozart, skulls, explosions, nazis, and WALT FUCKING DISNEY

ladies and gents

????? by David OReilly who is a really cool filmmaker who makes all sorts of neat digital films

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and to finish this post off, the final of the 3 incredibly bizarre but oddly catchy Scrabble commercials

SUMO

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i have quite a few more to post but i'll save those for next sunday/monday/wheneverthehelligettopos tagain

on an unrelated note for those who are interested in what i'm doing these days, work continues on Polypeptide, my next short film which is slowly inching its way towards completion like a hippo with no legs farting its way uphill.

here is a screenshot in blurtacular JPEG-O-VISION because PNG's are not allowed here for reasons only Proteon, divine being of all machines, has the authority to comprehend.

i kid. this post has nothing to do with the aforementioned things. jokes on you. yolks on you. folks on poo.

bolts on screw.

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this first thing is something Tom Fulp showed to Luis and then Luis showed it to me.

and here it is.
its pretty dang great

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and now here is something much cuter and more pleasant
1974

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hungu a canadian short filmaroo

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and now one of these

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and some pixels

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a new cartoon by scarydoll (who used to be a ng user)

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this is the alternate opening to the awesome dc animated universe movie Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

i have no idea why they didnt use this intro because it KICKS ASS.

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and now a couple of short things

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whale paradise

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and now this music video
dont worry the music gets better after a bit

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a trailer for a film coming out by the guy who made Hello which was in the animation show tour and dvd
looks very neato

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and now to end this post
a small dash of nostalgia

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POST OVER