oh hey guys whats up
as my userpage has become a magnet for terrible terrible kids trying SO hard to be trolls, and really uppity fuckwads, I decided I'm going to do something that is sure to win me more fans and fame and fortune.
I am going to stop posting cool things I find and instead will make my userpage a selfish haven where I can talk about myself all day and gloat and advertise whatever new bullcrap product I produce. And post nonsense that serves no purpose except to make my journal entries longer!
Then I am going to go to animation schools and conventions and hold seminars so others can draw as poorly as I do whilst they shower me with praise and love.
Now I can be just as useless as all the other overrated artists like myself who hang here!
Finally....I'll fit in with the most silent crowd of all. ;_;
i tried so haaaaard
and got so faaaaaarrrrr
in the eeeeeeeeennnnnnd
it doesn't even maaaaaattteeeeerrrrrr
i have something you should probably see
.
/* */
i dunno about you guys that gave me TEH LULZ. (look how trendy i am using the word lulz haha) (teh)
in other news
since the seemingly permanent death of campnorth i've had to find a new place to upload my amateur-hour fine art.
for those with no taste, i have decided to beg for money here instead of having a job. i will do commissions, yes I will.
a pencil drawing is 8000 dollars
a painting is 45,000 dollars
that may seem pricey but for art as good as mine, you KNOW its good!
make sure to email me at zekeyart@hotmail.angelfire.tripod.net
Also in a great disservice to both Tom Q Fulp and Wade X Fulp I have decided to remove all of my cartoons (including the 2.5 good ones) off the site. They will now be going on the super special....
....ZEKEYSPACEYLIZARD DVD!!!!! HELL YES!!!!
the DVD only costs 62 dollars per disc and is 19 discs long.
Have you ever sat down on your parents chair and thought to yourself "Darn dangley doodle, I ever so wish that I could watch free internet cartoons on my television after paying for them!"
Well, your wish is my command my friend.
Included on the disc are:
Squaresville Unfolded - The same Squaresville you know and love but NOW with no sound or music because of copyright violations. We were thinking of putting Greensleeves as the music but fuck that shit. I hope you enjoy watching the same 7 minute long cartoon you didn't enjoy back in 2005 NOW IN HD WHICH MEANS ITS SHARPER AND CAN BE PLAYED ON TV SETS FAR LARGER THAN YOURS
MASS: a retrospective - in this documentary my busty assistant travels the globe interviewing kids on the internet to ask them their shocking theories as to what this cartoon's deep sanctifying message is. Afterwards my assistant might do a striptease. Or maybe not. HOW WILL YOU KNOW UNLESS YOU BUY THE DVD? Yeah your dick is swollen just thinkin about it. FYI she looks like this.
Your Horoscope for Today - witness the incredible tweens that made this cartoon a real blockbuster back in the day. Then wonder why I was not sued for making this cartoon like I was for this.
Clown Show: Dissection of the Bah Bah Bah Bee Bah Bee - this terrifying film inspired by Clown Show features a rape scene that is so gory and brutal it was banned from 93 countries. Because of this, I fully expect this scene to be all over youtube in 10 minutes within the DVD's release. If it is not I will be very disappointed in all of you and write you letters stating this.
Nathan's Genius - this film shot by myself is a detailed and personal venture that shows the sort of sick and deranged conditions a brilliant mind like my own must be in, in order to produce such stunning work as the "Foamy Horseshit Hentai Collab" It details my humble beginnings as a well-hung stable boy to my violent escape from the womb into manhood. My crusades against the nation of Peru, and live footage of the day I conquered the land and crowned myself KING OF INTERNET.
ZekeySpaceyLizard The Movie - the culmination of my 50 year's of animating at Walt Disney Studios, Termite Terrace, and Gainax. This film explores the troubled background of a monk determined to hide his dark past, as the Abbey he lives in comes under fire from the Turkish military and their hula-hooping harpies. You will laugh. You will cry. You will shell out 40 more dollars for the special edition which will come out months later in DIGITAL 3D.
Oh
Oh please.
Please buy this DVD after I remove everything I have ever made off the internet. I am an artist guys. I should not have to work to earn money. I should be able to just put chemicals on paper and have money come to me. Its not fair. I am such a unique individual I should not have to work! Oh, woe is me.
Support me by buying my super special expensive DVD loaded with bonus features which none of you will watch!
ALSO
be sure to check by MY ZAZZLE PRODUCTS PAGE which is chock full of shirts sure to make you butthurty and lulzy and coolfacey. Make sure to buy them for your relatives as well. How proud are you gonna feel with one of my fugly designs on your chest? Proud enough to slug a biker gang in their cocks? Proud enough to wrestle a horny grizzly bear? Proud enough to...to...
....make a comment on this blog....?
well I'm afraid no-one is that proud. With my officialized status of overrated Newgrounds author and useless individual I am afraid that I have turned off all the comments.
You see, the position I'm in comes with a very strict COWARD CLAUSE which I simply have to honor or else the whole bid goes in the can.
I'm sure you understand.
BTW, make sure to purchase as much stock in Polypeptide as you can. I need that money so I can buy General Motors and have them build me an airship that I can whack off all over.
Speaking of, here is a new screenshot of Polypeptide. Make sure to mention in the comments you cant post in how much you are looking forward to it. The more you hype it up for yourself, the more disappointed you can be when you finally see the final film and realize you've been waiting for a new piece of shit by yours truly.
In the screenshot below you can see Hank Wildebeest currently enjoying a violent orgasmic headache as he has just learned that his Ex-Wife just married his son. In the next scene he clenches his teeth so hard his jaw breaks, his lungs fill with blood, and he suffocates in a pool of his own fluids in his mad dash to local Hospital.
But here's the twist: the hospital is actually HIS MIND. THATS SOME DEEP SHIT. YOU WISH YOU WERE THAT DEEP.
(in all seriousness you should all go see UP. Its a really good movie).
(also stop playing sniper and spy you assholes you're ruining the game.)
