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A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe. 'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.--------- ---- When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

Age 38, Male

talentless hack

IADT

Florida

Joined on 8/23/03

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ZekeySpaceyLizard's News

Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - May 2nd, 2009


i bet you all thought I was going to post Kenny and the Chimp right? NO YOU MISERABLE CRETINS BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DOING THAT AND HAVE RUN THE JOKE INTO THE GROUND

As punishment you all get to watch the most hilariously terrible cartoon to ever be pooped out of the golden age of animation which BigArmyBug found and showed to me.

GASP at Bimbo the Bear's vacant expression and soulless eyes

SHOCK at Bimbo's abuse of his car that has a third-world-child's face

CRINGE at the atrocious animation and weird mouths and satanic voices from the underworld

Proof that rotoscope is bad:

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I hope you feel filthy from watching that.

And now for something good. The original pilot to the Plastic Man cartoon. Even though this toon was never greenlit (another brilliant decision by cartoon network), Tom Kenny returned later to do Plastic Man's voice in the Batman Brave and the Bold cartoon series which is actually pretty good.

But not as wacky as this:

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And for comparison purposes the slightly more silver-agey version that pops up on occasion on the new campy batman show
this clip shows plastic man's origin along with another hilariously bad batman villain everyone has forgotten known as Kite-Man. The stilt man to bruce wayne's peter parker. Luckily for us there was never a Stilt Man cartoon show. Anyway more plasticine goodness:

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And now a strange Russian cartoon I have no explanation for:

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And now ANOTHER strange cartoon I have no explanation for. BUT this one has an elephant. Yeah.

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And now,

KARNIVAL

a series of very bizarre toons about creatures doing things that some might deem unnatural.

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and to end this post, this commercial which disturbed me slightly

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see ya

Great Cartoons - Swine Flu Edition


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - April 20th, 2009


today is a rather odd day historically. 10th anniversary of columbine, and simultaneously Adolph Elizabeth Hitler's birthday.

seems rather ironic considering the first vid im posting is about hitler as a pig with mommy issues
apparently this song is in GTA4.

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and to keep up the theme of things people find offensive and wrong

heres some wonderfully racist old cartoons

the first one is Coal Black and the Sebben Dwarves which i hope most of you have seen at least once because not only is it hilarious, but its also some of the best animation to ever wiggle its way onto screens in the golden age
by bob clampett

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and another one
in my opinion this one's even more hilariously offensive although not nearly as crazily drawn

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the two guys slapping each other makes me laugh every fucking time.
fun fact: scrub me mamma is now public domain. meaning anyone can use it or stick it on dvd. aint that somethin.

oddly both cartoons feature cute curvy ebony girls who sing jaunty tunes.

anyway enough of that sort of thing.

have some romance cartoons

i particularly like this one. they got this guy's facial expressions just right.

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Shut up my heart

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:)
this one reminds me of old old 20's and 30's cartoons

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and now here's 3 cartoons that are complete and utter nonsense
first this segment from the Yellow Submarine. perhaps the trippiest cartoon movie ever made.

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these next two nonsense ones arent nearly as pleasant
but are alot scarier

this first one is rather slow. hopefully you like the song.

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this next one is like some sort of devil shot itself in the face and put it in an avant-garde film.
i really cant describe this thing.
its absolutely insane and loud and horrifying.

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anyway after all that you are probably feeling weirded out
so here's some pleasant music videos to They Might Be Giants music

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actually
you know what the last vid in this post will be
something i tried to post before but it wouldnt work because newgrounds vimeo embed was broken
enjoy this:

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have a nice day!

Great Cartoon: goo goo g'joob edition


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - April 13th, 2009


heres a somewhat oldie
i think anyone who was born in the early to mid 80's and grew up watching nickelodeon back when it wasnt MTV for sissies should remember this neat little short that played inbetween shows

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you might also remember this playing around the same time, which in retrospect is a pretty dark little short

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Mars makes a documentary about life on earth
quite silly but witty

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a lovely old UPA toon from 1953 about a unicorn and a couple with severe marriage problems

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3 misses by the same guy who did the film about the egg that I posted above
this is a neat little movie he made in 1998

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and now one of my favorite short films which is on youtube and split into 3 parts. I've talked about who katsuhiro otomo is in here before. him, koji morimoto, and satoshi kon are 3 of my favorite japanese animation directors. they do crazy insanely creative stuff.

anyway
a few years ago (quite a few now this came out in 1995) he and his confidants made a movie called Memories which was 3 short films each one telling a different story all based off various manga and such.

if you're a big fan of animation theres's a good chance you may have seen these. if you havent, well you SHOULD. because they are great.

all 3 films are excellent. magnetic rose tells a very sad but spooky ghost story on an abandoned ship in outer space, stink bomb is about a man who accidentally takes a supplement which makes him smell so bad he starts wiping out the population and yes its a comedy, and the final one was an odd funky little film about a military community called Cannon Fodder.

which is the one i'll be posting now

also oh fuckballs figures i found the one that isnt translated into freakin english
hold on I CAN FIX THIS DO NOT PANIC

ok here it is in english instead

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im not entirely sure but i believe the cgi effect being used to make the paintings seem 3d in some of these scenes is the same used in most of the Studio Ghibli films and was also used in Disney's TARZAN animated film. i think it also got used in the first few pokemon movies.

PART 2

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PART 3

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and there you go

today's post comes with a free bit from my own upcoming cartoon polypeptide:

Great Cartoons - version 5 subsection W


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - April 6th, 2009


fleep flap floop

i have nothing constructive to say except i wake up every morning covered in flea bites. and i dont like it one bit no sir.

so here we go.

first is this bizarre music video which has little stop motion jewelry beetles in it.
never heard of andrew bird so yeah.....WELL HERE IT IS

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this film isnt actually about jack nicholson at all i dont think
i've actually been meaning to post this one for a while i just kept forgetting it exists

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this is so cute it hurts to watch
its also really smoothly animated AND uses "the baby elephant walk" song

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this one is also very cute
and it has a disturbing surprise ending as well

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Usavich is a long running cg cartoon series about two rabbits on the run from the law.
each season is comprised of about 10-15 short 1-3 minute long episodes
they are ALL GREAT
but i particularly love these musical ones

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Hockey Monkey by the Zambonis
god bless canada

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and now for a grand experiment.

mindchamber showed me this and also claims that the embed code on the ng blogs works for vimeo now

and you all know me and how pessimistic i am so i wont be too surprised if it still doesnt work

but i hope it does because this final video is FANTASTIC
here we go

Yankee Gal

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GREAT CARTOONS: dans le sandwich des chiens edition


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - April 4th, 2009


some of you may have noticed that i have been a very busy bee lately

i finished the music video gerkinman and i were working on and the final of the weebl and bob goovies but a few days ago and now

now i am back to work on polypeptide

here are some horribly blurry screenshots of it as proof i am still hard at work on this personal project which has taken me nearly 2 years now and will be forgotten after you watch it in 2 hours :D

also i have discovered that sprinkling salmon spice on nachos is delicious

hey assholes


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - March 28th, 2009


someone reminded me of jiri barta in the comments of my last post
so i decided to do some googling. not only is he still alive, he's still making things. including a long-delayed movie.

i also found an interesting thing where someone took a song from nurse with wound (who make very creepy ambient music. if you like lustmord and throbbing gristle and coil, you'll like these guys) and put a bunch of Barta's animation to it. Its rather neat, so what the hell I'll post it (despite it basically being an AMV).

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sadly theres more bits from his live action shorts than his cartoons in that

one odd (really ODD) thing I found is that not only is barta still about, he still makes films

like this cgi short film with little tin clockwork people who's lives are quickly ruined

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mooooooooving on

quite a few posts ago I posted a film by arthur de pins called GERALDINE about a guy who wakes up one day as a girl and his amusing days getting used to be being a woman and the whole change in his lifestyle.

well it appears the FUTURESHORTS people have put another one his films online, called La Revolution Des Crabes. It was on his website, but in french. I know some french so I could figure out most of it, but i still couldnt get a large bit of the dialogue.

ANYWAYS the FUTURESHORTS people also put lovely english subtitles on it. meaning now, you can read whats happening making it a much nicer experience.

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they also put up this funny cartoon by Nicole Mitchell about a nasty zookeeper getting his comeuppance.

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heres a film about race from 1933 (holy crap!)
from the old soviet.
its interesting that stuff like this was made during a time period when 'blackface' was still considered non-taboo

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the thing i love about youtube is that it has allowed me to glue together many shards of old memories that haunt me occasionally

for example, i've been humming this song for what seems my whole life, and only until a couple days ago did i find out what its from

its from a segment on sesame street about how crayons were made

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and finally to end this post

this amazing action cartoon I found called Sigg Jones made by a student at Supinfocom (showing once again how incredible France's animation schools are). Its about a sports guy who coughs up what I believe is his soul and it turns him into a mindless killing machine. But his soul turns into super powered sneakers.

YUP

its pretty freaking cool

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Great Cartoons: CHOO CHOO edition


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - March 21st, 2009


PES is a fellow who has made alot of short films using everyday objects as the medium of choice.

This one is still my favorite:

Western Spaghetti

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Game Over, also obviously done by PES

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in other news, gerkinman and i have been working on a music video for a swell band
and this is one of their music videos:

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The Timid Toreador by the amazing (and amazingly dead) Bob Clampett
I got the color version of this toon on vhs somewhere. i remember it well because the chicken accidentally committing suicide near the beginning disturbed the hell out of me as a wee boy.

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Michel Gondry is one of my favorite directors he makes neat films, and a few years ago he did this neat music video for the chemical brothers. if you cant 'get it' basically all the scenery is moving in tune to the music

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Will the Summer Make Good for Our Sins?
a rather creepy and somewhat disturbing music video by Marc Craste who's made alot of whimsical commercials and short films at Studio AKA

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a cartoon by crew972

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and this odd little thing

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you can read along with me in your book

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lets begin now

this short edition brought to you buy BUSYNESS and WORK

Great Cartoons from Planet X


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - March 14th, 2009


today's frontpage post contains an epic prologue where me and several other chaps discuss matters that are only important to people on the internet.....so basically things noone gives a shit about

<reptilicus> rtil more like rtibuttox am i rite guys ?????
<rtil> if i see that please say something link one more time i swear to god
<J_Seed> lmfao
<reptilicus> are we talking about the cgi toon
<reptilicus> with the cat and the mouse
<J_Seed> yeah that
<reptilicus> jay are you going through my youtube favs
<J_Seed> nop
<reptilicus> do i have to get out the trout?
<J_Seed> ive just been seein that link everywhere
<J_Seed> even boogley made a fp post about it
<reptilicus> he did?
<reptilicus> fuck
<reptilicus> i was gonna post it in my next cartoons post
<J_Seed> i never watched it tho
<J_Seed> yeh he said sumthin about you
<reptilicus> WAT
<reptilicus> link me to that fucker
<reptilicus> i'll murdalize 'im
<reptilicus> while i animate with my right hand i will engage in internet war with my left
<reptilicus> because i am DOUBLE NEGATIVE

(after 2 minutes of immature flaming on another person's userpage i return)

<reptilicus> there
<reptilicus> done
<J_Seed> you sure pwned him
<reptilicus> i sho deed
<J_Seed> you didnt hurt him alot did you ;(
<reptilicus> i only broke.................................
......his heart
<reptilicus> i really do hate these faggots complaining about my fp posts
<reptilicus> i hate em a big ol bunch
<J_Seed> who complains about em?
<reptilicus> well other than boogly, lazymuffin, shirtturtle, a few others
<J_Seed> why complain about em
<reptilicus> because apparently finding obscure neat cartoons and linking ng to them
<reptilicus> is a bad thing
<reptilicus> when i should be using the fp to update people on videogame collabs and events in my boring life
<reptilicus> HEY GUYS I GOT MY TOOTH DRILLED TODAY. ALSO THE CAPTAIN FALCON COLLAB IS NOW 22% DONE
<rtil> make an fp post complaining about people who complain about fp posts
<reptilicus> i think i will make my fp post
<reptilicus> a combination of that idea
<reptilicus> and my usual ones
<reptilicus> for super meta irony points +15
<J_Seed> also keerbiffer
<reptilicus> jay i already posted keerbiffer i aint postin it again you big butt
<J_Seed> no one clicked it did they?
<reptilicus> noone clicks anything i link to
<J_Seed> only like, 1 guy looked at it i think
<reptilicus> well that 1 guy is a lucky man
<J_Seed> geez, most of the fp posts now are "I'm only posting this to knock ______ off the front page"
<reptilicus> yep good ol newgrounds

tl:dr fuck you
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with that out of the way, the first 4 films that are going in this weeks post were linked to me by Mindchamber. a man with a love of robots that dwarfs even my own great love of robots.

the first thing is this cool monstrous music video
its neat how the DnB song is made up mostly of the sounds of a printer. i love when people use everyday objects to create music

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All Hell is Breaking Loose
like cel shading and mediEvil had a baby
a musical baby

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Billion Dollar Gravy
i love the cool pastel colors in this. it makes it all look....creamy? i dont know of a good word to describe it. crazy sort of vinyl toy art style

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Cum Dancing
interesting to note there is no cum or dancing in this film
the music rather reminds me a bit of mr.scruff

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this next toon was linked to me by JoeyPwnsJoo
its a short little sand animation about the 7 deadly sins

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last post i talked alot about winsor mckay. today i am mentioning that Art Spiegelman has a new book out. i was at the bookstore last night and BAM there it was between the dc comics and the graffiti photo art books.
and theres even a neat animated trailer for the book. i dont think i've seen a trailer for a book before, but here's one now:

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this is a rather scary claymation that wps linked me to
i dont know who made it or what is happening. but its cool to look at.
nightmare fuel

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and now for a couple of classics everyone needs to see at least once in their lives before they die a horrible death from cancer or some other incurable malady:

YOU'RE A SAP, MR.JAP
starring everyone's favorite ornery navy sailor: Popeye
i could probably fill a whole post with world war 2 cartoons.

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and Bambi Meets Godzilla
winner of the coveted "Most Anticlimactic Ending in the History of Film" trophy

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also when the hell is this getting translated to english and brought to america already?
its been AGES now

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and now to change gears a bit, despite being a 5 hour long epic butchered to 2.8 hours, the Watchmen was pretty great. anything i didnt like about the film was the same stuff that irked me a bit in the book (i.e. how once everyone is inside Adrian's Big Science House of Doom and Squids the story slows and the tension dies a good bit).

other than that, a damn good film. didnt even feel like 3 hours. although thats probably because i pissed before i went in.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Great Cartoons Part 55 44 33 22 11 hurm Edition


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - March 7th, 2009


As some of you may or may not know by this point, but METAL GEAR FUNNIES won the Newgrounds Tank Trophy for cartoon of the year.

Yes its true.
Some of us were expecting it, some of us werent. Such is the way with things.
However, I think I am most proud of the face at how overjoyed the Newgrounds audience is, leaving such heartwarming congratulatory messages such as:

i did not know it got a tank award im amazid tomfulp orwho ever fagg decided to give this a award is a piece ak shit its awful i could not even watch the whole thing i actully cried a little this is sad i made my promise IM NEVER FUCKING GOING ON NEWGROUNDS AGAIN FUCK YOU STAFF FUCK YOU WEBSITE FUCK ALL WHO THIMK THIS IS EVEN OK OR GOOD THIS IS A SHITTRUCK THATS MY OPINION AND I THING MOST OF YOU AGREE OF WHAT IM FUCKING TRYIMG TO SAY HERE RIGHT GO FUCK YOURSELF STAFF

It truly brings a tear to my eye and my butt.

And so, to commemorate this incredible feat of skill and wit, the man who brought together Metal Gear Funnies, my good pal and fellow animator Bugediah B. Bugsmer (known in some circles as BUG has chosen the films I will be showing in this weeks GREAT CARTOONS POST: WE WON A FUCKIN TROPHY EDITION!!!!

So today's post is on the films of OSAMU TEZUKA
the great grandpa of japanese animation. A friend of Stanley Kubrik and the creator of Astro Boy, Kimba the White Lion, and a whole enormous list of other famous cartoon characters I really cant be bothered to list because its HUGE.

Anyway.

Later on his life, he made alot of very different animations which are all wonderful to watch.

" this one is a purposly "broken" movie that would enrage many people if made today"

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"this one is a crazy first person perspective about a kid jumping"

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"this is a sort of chuck jonesy thing where he talks about memories"

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" heres my favoirte of the bunch about a guy in the future who gets new things for throwing old things away but in the end looses it all. its depressing and i love it"

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"i have no idea what this is it must be like a 3 part OAV or something but it has a little cute thing that morhphs into stuff. and very nice monster designs"

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"and heres a goofy little thing about a shipwrecked guy"

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and to complete this post.....

IT'S SLOP. BUT I'M EATING IT.
harry happy

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GREAT CARTOONS: metal gear funnies wins a tanktrophy edition!


Posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard - February 27th, 2009


hey ho

lets go

hey ho

lets go

my last post i posted my demo reel and it was up for a good week, and i think thats more than enough time for anyone who cares to see it so lets get back to the fun stuff

first up, a strange and kinda scary cartoon about a giant

Tyll the Giant
in 2 parts

part 1

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part 2

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winsow mckay is one of the great gods of cartoons and animation
and despite creating the first cartoon character and making comics throughout the late 1800's and early 1900's, the man is still unsurpassed when it comes to pure raw imagination.
seriously.
next time you're at the bookstore or library look up the ORIGINAL Little Nemo comics. they will blow your fuckin mind. the animated movie you saw as a kid might pretty and a unique combo of american and japanese cartoons, but it does not have JACK on the comics. seek them out.
here you can see winsor being awesome in front of various people

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i think i've posted this before maybe
oh well
its still friggin incredible
EMPTY SPACES

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here's an canadian flick about a boy and his family coming to terms with his dying grandmother
from 1976
The Street

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this completely ruins the theme we have going
but i'm posting this old intro to an old couple of offensive cartoons that trey parker and matt stone made
why?
because its catchy and funny
that why

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PWEEEN CESS YEEE

and now

"HELLO DAD I'M IN JAIL"

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i know nothing about this film or why it exists

Tahiti Boy and the Palmtree Family

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a very nice person sent me this next one

Of Montreal (a good band)
ID ENGAGER

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i hope you enjoy this pile

Great Cartoons edition 90 - now with Estonian Giants